Never have a difficult interaction with someone again—outsource it to a computer and/or remote employee! All relationship and employment problems are now SOLVED thanks to ever-improving technology.
Sometimes, one must make a difficult decision in life, or convey bad news to someone.
This can be stressful!
But what if these hard decisions could be outsourced?
With this new system, if you find yourself in an unpleasant situation while messaging someone, you can press a button on the program to simply outsource the remaining communication to someone else.
- An employer wants to fire an employee. They text [AUTOFIRE] to that employee, and the HR process for firing that employee is automatically handled by a remote professional.
- Someone wants to get divorced. They text [AUTODIVORCE] to their spouse, and a remote professional handles the jurisdiction-specific details.
- Your nephew’s hamster died, but you don’t know how to convey this bad news. Text [AUTOHAMSTERDIED] to your nephew, and a qualified team will take care of everything.
No more need to stress out about difficult things—just let an emotionally detached algorithm and/or remote employee handle it!
See Figure 1 and Figure 2 for examples.
Fig 1: Some people hate to let down a date. Problem solved thanks to TECHNOLOGY! Right: animated gif re-enactment of a conversation where [AUTOGHOST] might apply.
Fig 2: No more awkward interactions with an employee you want to fire. Only works in jurisdictions with at-will employment. Don’t try this with unionized labor! Right: animated gif re-enactment of a conversation where [AUTOFIRE] might apply.
PROS: Makes difficult communications (and just-slightly-difficult communications) incredibly easy!
CONS: Some people say it’s not a great idea to outsource all human interactions to an algorithm, but what do they know!