WorstPlans.com updates every Monday!

Your weekly source for terrible plans and ideas!

Tag: laptop theft

Never worry about someone breaking into the un-secured space of your hatchback vehicle again thanks to “fake trash,” the amazing new invention that covers your valuables with a layer of trash that deters car break-ins. Hide your valuables in plain sight!

Background:

Many types of cars—e.g. hatchbacks, SUVs, “crossover” vehicles—do not have a secure trunk space.

Although these vehicles often come with retractable covers that can hide the contents of the trunk, they often don’t have 100% coverage.

(So if you have a laptop sliding around in the back of your car, it’s entirely possible that it’s visible to a thief with an eye for detail.)

Additionally, using the cover implies that there may be something in the back of the car—you ought to break in and find out!

2-car-breaking-arrow.jpg

Fig. 1: Someone broke into this car, despite the storage area being covered! So why did a thief become intrigued? See Figure 2 for the answer!

1-i-see-a-laptop-arrow.jpg

Fig. 2: A dramatic re-enactment of the scene before Figure 1 (in the same model of car, by coincidence!). If we look into the window, we can see a laptop in plain sight, despite the cover (left) being extended.

Proposal:

To make a hatchback storage area that is less appealing to break into, we have developed the following product: an easily-rolled-up layer of “fake trash” on a canvas backing.

Then, instead of attempting to hide your belongings, you simply put the layer of fake trash over your valuables.

This fake trash would make it look like the car belongs to an incredibly disgusting person who keeps all manner of trash and rotting food in the back of the car (Figure 3), and no one would suspect that a valuable laptop was beneath the trash.

3-fake-trash-all.jpg

Fig. 3: Top: fake trash (left) and laptop (right). Bottom: the fake trash covers up the laptop perfectly! Additional improvements could  also be made; for example, a non-slide surface for the fake trash, or elastic straps to keep the laptop in place.

Conclusion:

This method is slightly better than just using the storage area cover: the cover implies that valuables might be present, whereas this method makes it seem that there is no possible place for valuables at all.

I’m surprised this isn’t already one of those “As Seen On TV” products for hatchback vehicles.

PROS: I think this product could legitimately be sold for $19.99, and people would buy them as gifts and/or pranks.

CONS: If this “fake trash” system catches on, thieves will recognize it and no longer be fooled.

 

Bonus: live video feed of this laptop: maybe someone will steal it on-camera while you watch! Better keep refreshing the page and visiting our sponsors in the meantime.

2018-08-06 19.38.16.gif

Bonus figure: Live video feed of this laptop in an unsafe steal-able location.

Never worry about losing your laptop again with these TWO EASY TIPS that will shock and horrify you. You’ll never believe what happened next! The amazing secret of proximity-based encryption.

The issue:

Currently, the loss or theft of an unencrypted laptop can be a huge pain for an employee and/or their company.

If a laptop gets stolen out of a person’s car, or just gets forgotten in a train or cafe, it’s entirely possible that the laptop owner will now have to change all their passwords.

And if they were working on some sort of top-secret project, now it’s a major hassle to worry about what might (or might not) have been disclosed to a competitor.

Additionally, travelers to foreign countries with especially valuable company secrets may have to worry about state-sponsored corporate espionage.

Proposal:

If a user really plans to only use certain data while physically at work (and never access this data while off-site), the user’s laptop can have a special hard drive that can only be accessed while within range of a specific WiFi network (see the solid state hard drive mockup in Figure 1).

Thus, if the user misplaces their laptop or has it seized by a foreign government, there is literally no way to decrypt the data. (Unless the laptop makes its way back within range of the company’s WiFi network, but presumably the laptop would be blacklisted as soon as the theft/loss is discovered).

secure-drive-concept

Fig 1: The hard drive is integrated with a WiFi radio; the decryption key must periodically be refreshed by proximity to the company’s WiFi key broadcasting system. If this hard drive is taken out of range, the hard drive locks itself again.

Since the drive must be within the range of the company’s WiFi “key” broadcaster in order to decrypt (Figure 2), it is nearly impossible laptop theft to result in exposure of sensitive data.

(If an adversary did steal an encrypted laptop, they would theoretically be able to access the data if they 1) know the user’s password and 2) are able to drive the laptop to the company’s parking lot (within range of the WiFi) before the theft is discovered and the laptop’s access credentials are revoked).

secure-key-broadcaster

Fig 2: In order to access the files on the hard drive, the user must be within range of the “key broadcaster” (just a specially-configured WiFi network). Whenever the user takes their laptop off-site, the data will be totally inaccessible even if the user has the correct password.

Possible issue:

Would an adversary be able to circumvent this system by having a co-conspirator sit in the company parking lot, capturing all the (encrypted) WiFi traffic and re-broadcasting it over the Internet? (It seems like this method would be extremely labor intensive, plus the parking-lot-infiltrator would need undetected access to the company network.)

PROS: Makes it impossible for foreign travelers to be coerced into revealing their laptop’s contents, since the laptop owner themselves cannot even access the data while traveling.

CONS: Opens up new way for a company to lose all of its data if the decryption broadcasting system fails.