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Tag: GoatStarter

The FDA doesn’t want you do know about this amazing cure for reverse-seasonal-affective-disorder, which could totally be a real thing! Increase your home’s resale value by 0 or more percent with this amazing new “rain window” architectural innovation.

Background:

Although people usually prefer it to be sunny rather than rainy, there are locations in the world where it hardly ever rains. Plus, there are some people who prefer an occasional rainy day even when the weather is sunny and cheerful.

Besides, sometimes a sunny day doesn’t match the tone of the actual events going on in your house: for example, if you were indicted for tax fraud for setting up a fake goat-based charity, would it be metaphorically appropriate for it to be a nice and sunny day? No: you should learn the bad news while sitting at a huge mahogany desk while in front of a window with raindrops streaming down it.

The issue:

You can duplicate the “rainy day at any time” effect by attaching a sprinkler to a hose and pointing it at your window, but this has two disadvantages:

  1. You have to actually own the land right outside your window, so it won’t work at a high-rise apartment or zero-lot.
  2. It wastes a lot of water, and may be forbidden by local ordinances.

window-sun

Fig. 1: An unacceptably sunny day. We can fix this with TECHNOLOGY. (Or a sprinkler.)

Proposal:

The proposal is simple: a transparent LCD screen is attached to the window. This screen can be relatively bare-bones; it can be grayscale and low-resolution, since we’re only going to be displaying raindrops on it.

rain-overlay-with-frame

Fig. 2: Left: a bare window frame (with transparent glass in it). Right: a transparent LCD screen (shown darker than it normally would be—when it wasn’t in “rain” mode, the screen would be almost 100% transparent).

rain-window-install-process

Fig. 3: Left: the installation process is very simple—the screen sticks onto your existing window glass. Right: the final result. Rain on demand! Maybe combine it with a speaker system to get the full soothing-rain-sound experience.

PROS: No longer be at the mercy of the weather; now you can get a rainy day on demand.

CONS: Installation might complicated due to the lack of a “standard” window size.

ad_goatwnntr

SPONSORED LINK: GOATWNNTR: Are you a credulous rube who got conned by the fake charity GOATSTARTER? You can redeem yourself by sponsoring a REAL goat-based charity and helping goat farmers during the icy winter of the remotest Mongolian steppes. The only LEGITIMATE goat-based charity that ships you a goat for the winter, directly from the Mongolian steppes. Make your possibly-tax-exempt charitable donation today!

Minimize the tiny remaining inconvenience of your indefensibly opulent Caligula-esque lifestyle with this one weird “how to make a bed” sheet-tucking-in tip!

Background:

Putting new sheets onto a bed can be a hassle if your bed has a footboard (Figure 1 and 2).

bed-diagram

Fig. 1: Putting clean sheets onto a bed is really easy if there’s no footboard. But if there’s a footboard, it’s a hassle to lift up the mattress and cram the sheets and blanket under the mattress (see Fig. 2). And if you don’t do it right, you’ll pull the top sheet out at some point, getting it all bunched up somewhere at the foot of the bed.

bed-diagram-with-comforter

sheet-problem

Fig. 2: Zoomed-in detail from Figure 1. The thin top sheet (red) and thick blanket / comforter (green) need to be jammed in between the mattress and the bed frame.

Proposal:

We have the technology to solve this issue forever (Fig. 3). Instead of trying to cram all of the sheets / blankets down under the mattress, we can simply clamp the foot-end of the various sheets/blankets together and put that clamp-and-blanket assembly at the foot of the bed. No need to lift up the mattress!

clamp-c

Fig. 3: The humble hardware-store C-clamp can solve this issue forever. Read on for the secrets!

sheet-clamp-demo

Fig. 4: The C-clamp holds the blanket, top sheet (and additional intermediate layers, if necessary) together. Now you can just lazily toss the heavy sheet-clamp-blanket assembly to the foot of the bed and not worry about trying to smoosh your sheets/blanket under the mattress!

PROS: Extensive testing has revealed that this actually works pretty well. Even better if you use a spring-closing clamp instead of one you have to twist. Probably would prevent the undoubtedly many back injuries per year that are caused by people lifting up mattress corners.

CONS: If you pull up the sheets too much, you will probably end up kicking the clamp in your sleep.

 

ad_goatstarter

SPONSORED LINK: GOATSTARTER: The only goat-based charity that ships you a goat for the winter, directly from Siberia. Make your possibly-tax-exempt charitable donation today!