Minimize the tiny remaining inconvenience of your indefensibly opulent Caligula-esque lifestyle with this one weird “how to make a bed” sheet-tucking-in tip!


Putting new sheets onto a bed can be a hassle if your bed has a footboard (Figure 1 and 2).


Fig. 1: Putting clean sheets onto a bed is really easy if there’s no footboard. But if there’s a footboard, it’s a hassle to lift up the mattress and cram the sheets and blanket under the mattress (see Fig. 2). And if you don’t do it right, you’ll pull the top sheet out at some point, getting it all bunched up somewhere at the foot of the bed.



Fig. 2: Zoomed-in detail from Figure 1. The thin top sheet (red) and thick blanket / comforter (green) need to be jammed in between the mattress and the bed frame.


We have the technology to solve this issue forever (Fig. 3). Instead of trying to cram all of the sheets / blankets down under the mattress, we can simply clamp the foot-end of the various sheets/blankets together and put that clamp-and-blanket assembly at the foot of the bed. No need to lift up the mattress!


Fig. 3: The humble hardware-store C-clamp can solve this issue forever. Read on for the secrets!


Fig. 4: The C-clamp holds the blanket, top sheet (and additional intermediate layers, if necessary) together. Now you can just lazily toss the heavy sheet-clamp-blanket assembly to the foot of the bed and not worry about trying to smoosh your sheets/blanket under the mattress!

PROS: Extensive testing has revealed that this actually works pretty well. Even better if you use a spring-closing clamp instead of one you have to twist. Probably would prevent the undoubtedly many back injuries per year that are caused by people lifting up mattress corners.

CONS: If you pull up the sheets too much, you will probably end up kicking the clamp in your sleep.



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