Stop wasting all that time maintaining your long hair—this sartorial secret will save you hours every week!

The issue:

It’s time-consuming—and potentially expensive—to maintain long hair to the exacting standards demanded by society (Figure 1).

***Fig. 1:*** *As a result of his unkempt beard, this dubious character is judged harshly by his fellow citizens.*

If one could somehow distract and/or obscure the true status of one’s hair, the tyranny of personal hygiene would be escaped!

But is this an impossible dream?

Proposal:

No, it is possible! Specifically, through the means of a “long hair camouflage” shirt made of material that mimics the hair color of the wearer (Figure 2).

The casual observer will be unsure where the long hair / unkempt beard ends and the shirt begins, and will be forced to conclude that the shirt’s wearer is a dapper individual of fine grooming.

Fig. 2: The same raggedy beard from Figure 1 now blends into the hair shirt in Figure 2, indistinguishable to the untrained observer. Success!

Conclusion:

This is the next fashion trend—get ahead of it by reserving your personal hair-colored shirts now!

PROS: Increases self-esteem of wearers, reduces time spent on hair maintenance, thus saving thousands of hours that can be applied toward new Linux screensavers and Python web-scraping libraries.

CONS: None!