Get exercise and improve your self-control with this new eco-friendly hand-crank-powered cell phone!
by worstideas
The issue:
It is frequently asserted that people are addicted to cell phones. If only there were a technical solution to this problem!
Proposal:
Here’s a simple solution to discourage casual cell phone use: a cell phone with two features:
- A strict limit on the amount of time you can use each program. (This feature already exists.)
- A hand crank on the side of the phone (Figure 1) that lets you circumvent the limit while you turn the crank.
- (Turning the crank also charges the phone battery, which makes this an eco-friendly idea as well.)
Fig. 1: The crank-powered phone at left has reached its daily limit of unmetered browsing. In order to keep using it, its owner must turn the charger crank (shown at right). Note that the manufacturer of this phone has slavishly copied the 2017 iPhone X notch.
Alternatives to the crank could also be employed: foot pedals, a bellows, or The Wheel of Pain from the 1982 Conan the Barbarian movie.
The crank could also be useful in other situations (Figure 2).
Fig. 2: The charger crank would add verisimilitude to this slot machine app.
Conclusion:
This eco-friendly idea is guaranteed to be a staple of future phone / tablet / laptop design.
Alternative Version:
An alternative formulation of this idea would be to not meter usage by time, but just require a user to turn the crank 50 times before an app will launch or a web page will load.
PROS: Discourages casual phone use out of boredom / habit. Provides a good arm workout, especially if you remember to flip it 180º occasionally to work out both arms.
CONS: Might not actually reduce phone use, but now there would be an annoying grinding sound of people turning cell phone cranks everywhere. Would increase the frequency of dropped phones.
