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Tag: pet food bowl

Make your dinners an ordeal of aggravation and regret! The new incredible trick to losing weight without even trying!

Background:

It has been demonstrated that people tend to over-eat in situations in which they can quickly consume a meal.

If a person has to consume a meal more slowly, they will (generally) realize that they are full and eat less.

The issue:

Unfortunately, in today’s decadent world, nearly every meal can be quickly devoured.

Proposal:

In order to reduce over-eating, we will borrow an idea that already exists for dog bowls. Specifically, certain “spiral dog food bowls” have a rim that curves all the way into the center of the bowl (Figure 1). This creates a raised edge that makes it harder for a dog to quickly wolf down the bowl’s contents—the spiral gets in the way.

Thus, the dog spends extra time and effort to get to the delicious food.

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Fig. 1: Top: dog bowls already exist in this spiral form factor. So why not adapt the same idea for humans? Bottom: the combination of chopsticks (instead of a spoon / fork / small shovel) and the strangely-shaped bowl should result in a meal that takes much longer to eat.

The spiral bowl above is a good start, but there’s really no limit to how intricate and annoying a dinner plate can become (Figure 2).

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Fig. 2: This extremely inconvenient multi-level plate has an arrangement of wire “fences” defending the food. This means that every bite of food requires navigating a dinner-themed wire labyrinth.

Conclusion:

Throw all your current dishes in the trash where they belong—upgrade to this new health-conscious system today!

Hypothetically, this might qualify for reimbursement through your medical insurance! Who knows!

PROS: Reduces over-eating, improves national health, and saves the health care system billions of dollars a year.

CONS: These strange plates would probably be difficult to load into a dishwasher.

One weird trick that the FAT CATS don’t want you to know. By which I mean actual cats who are fat.

Background:

If you have a pet, it’s probably overweight.

Sorry to have to break the news to you this way.

Your cat / dog / snake / whatever probably does not get enough exercise, and you most likely compound the problem by over-feeding it.

fido

Fig 1: In the wild, food isn’t found in conveniently-labeled bowls that don’t fight back!

The proposal:

Luckily, there is a solution: instead of just allowing your pet to eat in peace, make it earn its meal by eating out of a special motorized food bowl that constantly tries to escape.

(The “minimum viable product” version of this concept is just a pet bowl superglued onto a Roomba vacuum.)

More complex versions might include a food bowl on a remote-controlled toy car, a food bowl on spider-like appendages (see Fig. 2), or even a quad-copter drone with attached food bowl (see Fig. 3).

By using this type of food bowl, two requirements can be met simultaneously:

* Your pet gets some additional exercise.

* Your pet’s hunting instinct is satisfied. This is the same principle involved in chasing a laser pointer.

wheeled

Fig 2: A food bowl could be placed on motorized robotic legs, possibly with wheels on the bottom, to allow the bowl to make a quick getaway in any terrain.

quadcopter food bowl

Fig 3: The quadcopter variant opens up additional options for pet-food-acquisition difficulty, but may be difficult in a normal sized house. Beware of using this with pet birds, as contact with rotors may not be beneficial to avian physiology.

PROS: Your pet can become the apex predator that it was destined to be.

CONS: If your pet becomes too skilled, it may supplant you as ruler of the home, eventually leading to the same “Planet of the Apes” scenario seen in the “train your pet to bite you if you procrastinate” idea.