Having trouble hearing conversations in loud environments? Try these animal-themed ear extenders!

,

The Issue:

In loud environments, such as noisy dining establishments, human ears (Figure 1) are often unsuitable for properly distinguishing the sounds of conversation from irrelevant background noise.

Fig. 1: Four vaguely humanoid heads. Note the completely inadequate undersized ears.

If these ears were larger and had a more directional component, they’d be better-suited to the task of facilitating conversation.

Proposal:

Although there are various high-tech solutions involving hearing aids, the simplest solution is to just bring back the “ear trumpet” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ear_trumpet)—a vintage non-electronic hearing aid—in more stylish fashion.

Behold, a system that will increase the efficiency of directional hearing without requiring batteries or generating any e-waste (Figure 2).

Fig. 2: These animal-ear-themed ear trumpets are a functional AND fashionable accessory.

Conclusion:

It is not entirely clear how these would be affixed to the head, but I’m sure there’s some sort of epoxy that would work (assumes long-term wear).

PROS: Should help facilitate conversations even in loud environments.

CONS: Possibly incompatible with certain OSHA-compliant hard hats. May also prevent regular headphones from being worn.

Thanks to RWW for this practical and zero-e-waste idea.

Originally published 2026-01-26.