It’s dangerous to walk around: you could walk right into an object at almost any time! If only there were some sort of millions-of-years-old time-tested solution to this problem. Cat whiskers to the rescue!

The Issue:

The human body is relatively fragile and generally does not like collisions with pointy things. Unfortunately, in the modern world, there are a huge variety of dangerous objects with sharp edges, metal spikes, thorns, and more (Figure 1)!

Fig. 1: Even these relatively normal objects have hidden dangers: the “no parking” sign and “ye pub” sign both have sharp metal edges that are ready to bisect this hapless pedestrian’s head, and the green plant is prepared to give an unsolicited eyeball-poking at any time.

Although it is theoretically easily avoidable by paying attention, a person must be on guard 100% of the time if they don’t want to ever accidentally walk into a sign / door / snake pit / whatever.

Proposal:

This problem has already been solved by cats! We’ll solve it the same way: just add a bunch of giant prosthetic whiskers to the person’s face. Now, if they’re about to walk into something dangerous, they’ll be warned by the whisker when it bends upon contact with the dangerous object (Figure 2).

Fig. 2: These whiskers (blue) can warn the wearer about the possible points of collision (light blue sparkles). Disaster averted!

Conclusion:

Although it might take a while for this fashion to catch on, the benefits are undeniable.

PROS: Millions of years of cat natural selection has indicated that whiskers are indeed a useful adaptation.

CONS: This innovation may cause humans to slowly metamorphose into cat-like creatures, per Lamarckian evolution.

Originally published 2025-05-05.