Class up the hotel and dining experience (actually, this works almost anywhere) with exotic bird sounds!


People who do not live in a jungle frequently associate the “sounds of the jungle” (e.g. the noises of birds and other miscellaneous creatures) with a sort of exotic and faraway mystique.


This idea is already used in theme parks, but there’s no reason we can’t apply it everywhere: any business that has even the vaguest justification for (possibly) hosting a flock of squawking jungle birds can just set up a bunch of speakers that constantly play bird noises (Figure 1).

Fig. 1: Although the “Motel Jungle” might not be the classiest establishment, it can easily get a couple more Michelin stars (probably: I’m not sure how this works, exactly) by adding some speakers and playing royalty free bird songs.

Now, the user who might previously have been thinking thoughts like “wow, the paint is peeling on this crummy building” will instead be thinking “wow, what is that amazing bird I’m hearing—this establishment is incredible!”


This system can class up even the seediest establishments. It might also work to drown out highway noise, airplanes landing, road construction, etc. It’s essentially an unusually assertive white noise (bird noise?) generator.

PROS: Even if humans pave over the entire planet and cause it to become a parking lot hellscape, this will allow people to experience what it might have been like to hear birds!

CONS: May cause people to associate jungle creatures with low-quality businesses, thus causing severe reputational harm to these unfortunate blameless beasts.