Bring civility back to the universe with this one incredible object that fits in your wallet!

The issue:

It’s hard to believe, but sometimes people are jerks.

Most people are also bad at apologies. But, what if, after committing some transgression, you could apologize and easily demonstrate your sincerity?


The “jerk card” provides this opportunity: if you feel like you were a jerk, but aren’t sure how to apologize, you can just present this card and have the aggrieved individual punch out one of the appropriate sections of the card (as shown in Figure 1).

1b Prototype on green
Fig. 1: In this card, two out of the maximum eight infractions have been used up (punched out).  The number of punches could be variable, as in a “driver’s license points”-style system .

Two more-detailed mockups can be seen in Figure 2.

2 card types
Fig. 2: Two possible card mockups. Since there are various ways to be a jerk, the infractions are divided into categories (categories “A” and “B” in the top card, and A through D in the bottom card). Categories could indicate either the nature of the offense or its severity (like red / yellow cards in soccer).

To be determined:

  • Would there be a governing body that would issue these cards?
  • In case of dispute, who decides if an infraction is actually valid?
  • What is the penalty for filling up a card?

PROS: Might encourage people to change their behavior by quantifying their offenses (similar in concept to a “swear jar“).

CONS: Since the jerk-card points would be self-assigned, it’s unclear if the most frequently-offending jerks would actually recognize their status.