Home defense: Guns? Crossbows? Boiling oil? No need—just make use of this unbelievably cheap medieval architectural feature! Note: only works for homes with at least two stories.

Background:

In the United States, the phrases “castle doctrine” and “home defense” most often refer to the idea of using guns to defend oneself from potential home invaders (specifically, by shooting them). However, despite the castle-related terminology, what is strangely lacking is any actual home defense (in the sense of medieval fortifications). See Figure 1 for an example.

Fig. 1: The classic “home defense” for the top 1% of wage-earners in 1350 Europe. Note the drawbridge at A.

Imagine a manor lord in the year 1400 who was worried about invaders, and, instead of building a stone castle with a moat, he decided to live in a regular tavern, but with a loaded crossbow within arm’s reach at all times. Clearly this has its own dangers, and requires constant vigilance!

Proposal:

Instead of only focusing on offense, “home defense” really should focus on the “defense” aspect!

This is not always practical, but for any two-story (or more) home, it’s a straightforward architectural change to simply replace a single interior stairwell with a medieval-style drawbridge (Figure 2).

Fig. 2: This house looks normal on the outside (B, left), but in the cutaway view (C), we find that the stairs to the second floor (D) terminate in a drop-off (this is the modern equivalent of a moat filled with crocodiles). The drawbridge (E) can be raised or lowered to grant access to the upstairs bedrooms (through door F).

This style of home defense is safer in many ways: it allows a home defender much more time to prepare any elaborate weaponry that they have stashed in their upstairs rooms, it prevents a “surprise attack” at night (assuming the drawbridge has been raised), and it reduces the chance of accidentally shooting a family member (since there’s less immediate motivation for a defender who is safely behind a drawbridge to immediately shoot a shadowy figure entering through the back patio door at night).

Conclusion:

This will be the next architectural fad, following such trends as “sunken living room” and “gigantic kitchen island.” Check for it wherever fine architecture magazines are somehow still sold!
Is this architectural proposal approved by your local residential building code? Well, it THEORETICALLY might be in your jurisdiction! Who can say, really?

PROS: Increases home safety.

CONS: It is possible that the drawbridge may have its own negative home-safety issues, such as a person coming home late at night, forgetting about the drawbridge, and plummeting to their doom off the top of a staircase (presumably into a crocodile-filled swimming pool or similar moat analog).

Originally published 2025-04-07.