Throw that bamboo back scratcher in the trash where it belongs—the new back-scratching shirt has rendered it completely obsolete!

Background:

There are all manner of weird back-scratching products, like bamboo claws, mini rakes, and probably like, dinosaur teeth or something like that. But all of them require specific effort to use, are generally unwieldy, and are socially frowned upon in a workplace environment.

Proposal:

The solution is so simple: just integrate the functionality of a back scratcher with a normal shirt! A shirt could have dozens of bamboo / plastic / metal / etc. spikes on the inside (Figure 1), replicating the functionality of the now-obsolete standalone back scratcher.

***Fig. 1:*** *This shirt shows how some moderately-pointy spikes (presumably easily obtainable cheaply from a goth jewelry overstock supplier) could be placed inside a shirt to improve it.*

Warning: the spikes should not be TOO spike-y, or else the user might end up creating their own wearable iron maiden. Please keep this in mind when prototyping.

Conclusion:

Throw away your dress shirts and casual-wear alike—this is the future of torso-based garmentry.

PROS: Improves the humble shirt (which has been almost completely ignored by the sartorial advances of the 20th and 21st centuries).

CONS: Just don’t get it caught in any spinning machinery, and you’ll be fine, OK?