If you thought “instant” noodles were a quick meal, see this proposal for an even higher-efficiency method of ramen noodle coiling! The ultimate meal for the busy professional with discerning tastes.

Background:

Ramen noodles in a cup (Fig. 1) are a popular so-called “instant” meal, beloved by graduate students, programmers, and a wide variety of individuals who lack culinary pretentions.

The Issue:

Despite being called “instant” noodles, these noodles actually require a non-zero amount of time to eat! Part of this is due to the fact that the noodles must be individually located and extracted from the noodle cup.

Proposal:

In order to bring even more lightning-quick efficiency to the instant noodle cup, we propose to pre-coil the noodles into one single noodle strand (Fig. 2), thus allowing the contents of the noodle cup to be efficiently slurped out (perhaps, optionally, through a straw).

It is possible that a noodle lacks the structural integrity required to allow full extraction of the cup’s contents without a meal-interrupting noodle break. If testing reveals that to be the case, we may add additional structural support to the noodle by wrapping it in strands of digestible fiber, or perhaps coating the weak points (the curves?) with a layer of fondant cake frosting.

Conclusion:

With this change, the cup of noodles truly becomes the “instant” meal that it was destined to be.

PROS: Increases ramen consumption efficiency, which will allow graduate student researchers to more effectively develop scientific breakthroughs.

CONS: If the coiled ramen is compressed in a spring-like fashion, it’s possible that it could catastrophically unspool, sending razor-sharp ramen shards everywhere. This would be similar to the phenomenon of an exploding tire (which can, somewhat non-obviously, shoot steel wires out everywhere). Fortunately, it’s likely that the total worldwide casualties from accidents of this nature would be < 100,000 graduate students annually.