This clownfish-inspired security system will “anemonize” your home, creating the ultimate burglar deterrent!

Background:

A type of fish called the clownfish can live within the stinging tentacles of an anemone (Figure 1). Thanks to an ancient non-aggression pact, the tentacles don’t sting the clownfish. However, they do sting other animals! This is perhaps nature’s first multi-species automated home security system.

***Fig. 1:*** *The clownfish is content to hang out within the stinging tentacles of the anemone.*

Proposal:

This all-natural system can be adapted to protect human habitats as well! We simply attach stinging vines to all surfaces in a house: floors, ceilings, handrails, walls, furniture, doorknobs, and more. Internally, the anemon-ized home would resemble a kelp forest (Figure 2).

***Fig. 2:*** *This “anemonized” sofa provides both fashion and home security.*

Next, the homeowner takes a dietary supplement that causes them to sweat a thick layer of protective slime. Thus protected, the homeowner can interact with their home as before—but any intruders will be deterred by the stinging “immune system” of the house.

In addition to its burglar-deterring properties, this system can also allow the homeowner to escape from guests who have overstayed their welcome: e.g. “Oh, let’s move this dinner party in the living room, it’s much more comfortable” (the host then sinks into a sofa composed of waving anemone arms).

PROS: Doesn’t require a homeowner to remember to set an alarm when the leave the house.

CONS: Might ensnare emergency first responders (like the fire department): this could run afoul of anti-booby-trap laws.