It’s a gigantic list of Worst Plans!

Posts are organized by top-level category. Some posts will show up in more than one category.

Posts Listed by Category

• Total number of unique posts: 185.
• Posts are broken up in further detail on the archives page.
• The newest post is on the front page.

Film and Television

• May 23, 2016: Appreciate a movie as it was meant to be seen, or maybe you can just watch an amateurishly cut version tailored to your specific preferences!
• Jun 20, 2016: Cinephiles: You can now get the rich analog experience of VHS via streaming video! Liberate yourself from the harsh pixelation of compressed digital video.
• Nov 21, 2016: Nine (9) insane books that you read in high school with TWIST ENDINGS that leave you speechless! Or, a way of bringing excitement back to classic literature.
• Jan 23, 2017: Become a sophisticated cinephile AND appreciate the finest movies that cinema has to offer in only ONE-NINTH the expected time, thanks to this bizarre invention! You will be the envy of your friends and countrymen.
• Feb 13, 2017: Dust off your 3D glasses (or excavate them from the geological strata that they are buried beneath) for this new multi-versions-of-a-movie plan that is definitely here to stay and not a gimmick!
• Jul 17, 2017: Stop exercising! Instead: re-enact scenes from action movies! Burn off fat easily with this one weird tip that movie executives do want you to know! Fitness instructors hate it—the one totally untested secret to weight loss!

Finance

• Dec 15, 2014: When someone lost all their money to a scam, you’ll never believe how they recovered 90% of it thanks to one weird legislative trick!
• Jul 13, 2015: Double your credit rating with this one weird tip, which assumes that a double-sided credit card will somehow also double your credit rating. Maybe credit bureaus have not yet considered this unlikely loophole!
• Oct 05, 2015: Will 10 losses in a row guarantee a payout on the next spin of a slot machine? The only way to find out is to play!
• Apr 04, 2016: When you purchase something, don’t get your change back as annoying coins—have it dispensed as delicious candies instead!
• Apr 18, 2016: Show how classy your phone app is with REAL fake GOLD text! Gold everywhere = high class operation.
• Jun 05, 2017: Do you know of a company that offers rebates by check and is also unethical and hates its customers? Here’s one weird tip for that company that is ACTUALLY USED IN REALITY and is incredibly annoying!

Education

• Feb 01, 2016: One weird tip to having every meeting end punctually! It involves sharks, though.
• Jun 06, 2016: Stop coddling students with “participation” awards just for showing up—instead, have them traverse a scorching desert and deadly volcano!
• Jun 13, 2016: Be tricked into learning with hybrid educational games! But don’t use the word “edutainment” this time.
• May 15, 2017: Teachers: help your shy and introverted students engage in discussion with the HELM OF UNRELENTING GAZE, the newest and most valuable teaching fad.
• Jun 26, 2017: Solve your getting-research-participants problem in one easy step with the medium of VIDEO GAMES. Possibly even ethical, who can really say!
• Oct 09, 2017: Perform untested and non-ethics-board approved human testing, with this one weird tip! A terrifying mobile for babies, with a twist!
• Nov 27, 2017: Your slide presentation / PowerPoint presentation can be improved ENORMOUSLY with this one incredible presentation tip. Get the promotion that you deserve!

Architecture

• Jan 26, 2015: 6 Baffling Apartment Arrangements You Won’t Believe Are Real* (* they are not real)
• Apr 06, 2015: One weird unfunded mandate that exposes the disregard for handicapped accessibility in 8-bit video games… tip number 3 will shock you!
• Jun 15, 2015: Increase downtown property values by developing un-used space above the roadway, an amazing weird trick from an unlicensed city planner with extensive SimCity experience
• Dec 14, 2015: Regain hours of your life every day with this one weird anti-procrastination tip that may involve horrifying injury! You’ll never believe what happened next.
• May 02, 2016: Exercise self-control and never wantonly snack again with this amazing new home design tip! Your kitchen will thank you.
• Aug 29, 2016: THE CITY GRINDER: The one relentless trick that will DRAMATICALLY CHANGE your property values! Read up before you buy property, or soon you will weep bitter tears of despair!
• Oct 03, 2016: The FDA doesn’t want you do know about this amazing cure for reverse-seasonal-affective-disorder, which could totally be a real thing! Increase your home’s resale value by 0 or more percent with this amazing new “rain window” architectural innovation.
• Nov 06, 2017: You will TRULY appreciate art after surviving the ART OBSTACLE COURSE! Brave a swamp of deadly crocodiles in order to catch a single glimpse of “Dogs Playing Poker”—you’ll never accuse it of being kitsch art again.

Beasts (Pets & Other Animals)

• Aug 10, 2015: Breaking news: You are a terrible pet owner if you don’t address your cat’s neuroses with the soothing safety of cat-patterned furniture
• Aug 24, 2015: Take your pet to work, even if it’s extremely ill-tempered and beastly
• Sep 28, 2015: I never believed the disdain that my cat had for my poor time management skills, until I watched this one shocking video and applied this one weird trick that doctors hate.
• Nov 02, 2015: One weird trick that the FAT CATS don’t want you to know. By which I mean actual cats who are fat.
• Jan 04, 2016: Is the origin of the necktie to be found in the Old Norse word “šnæktie,” literally meaning “snake tie”? Technically speaking, it is not possible to disprove this assertion with 100% confidence!
• Feb 08, 2016: Your city can save millions of dollars a year by employing this one weird animal!
• Feb 29, 2016: Clawed beasts will rend your flesh unless you obey this one weird tip! Cats and homeowners hate it!
• Jul 25, 2016: The true secret of DOGS—never need to walk your dog again! Tip number five will HORRIFY you.

Art

• Mar 23, 2015: Your lack of art appreciation has brought shame to the land. Redeem yourself with this one weird sponsorship trick.
• Apr 27, 2015: Rearrange your no-doubt-extensive home art gallery according to these curation principles.
• Apr 11, 2016: Is the U.S. Tax Code more complicated than Magic: The Gathering? The answer may surprise you!
• May 23, 2016: Appreciate a movie as it was meant to be seen, or maybe you can just watch an amateurishly cut version tailored to your specific preferences!
• Oct 10, 2016: Watching TV instead of reading books is actually good for your brain! The one weird trick publishers love, and authors hate, for automatically inserting cliffhangers into books.
• Dec 19, 2016: Never fall for a clickbait title again with this one INSANE museum tip! Your art appreciation teacher would hate it.
• Jan 23, 2017: Become a sophisticated cinephile AND appreciate the finest movies that cinema has to offer in only ONE-NINTH the expected time, thanks to this bizarre invention! You will be the envy of your friends and countrymen.
• Aug 07, 2017: Your chair is KILLING YOU! With its lack of artistic sophistication, I mean. Throw all your useless and harmful furniture into a huge bonfire, then replace it with eco-friendly low-polygon furniture for the health-conscious and trendy consumer.
• Sep 11, 2017: TITLE: The secret to making THE BEST ART MUSEUM possible and acquiring a collection for less than 1% the normal price of famous art. The secret ingredient: ART FORGERY.
• Nov 06, 2017: You will TRULY appreciate art after surviving the ART OBSTACLE COURSE! Brave a swamp of deadly crocodiles in order to catch a single glimpse of “Dogs Playing Poker”—you’ll never accuse it of being kitsch art again.

Food & Diet

• Jan 19, 2015: Incredible secret to lose weight FOR FREE—doctors hate it!
• Jan 18, 2016: With this amazing new conveyor belt diet, YOU TOO can lose weight without any pain! Don’t listen to all those other fad diets—this one is here to stay.
• Apr 25, 2016: Learn the secrets of the legendary “SIX STAR HOTEL” in this one weird cereal-focused post.
• May 02, 2016: Exercise self-control and never wantonly snack again with this amazing new home design tip! Your kitchen will thank you.
• May 16, 2016: Even the tiniest portion of food will feel satisfying when it looks like a huge meal! The one weird trick that cost-cutting dining establishments don’t want you to know!
• Jun 27, 2016: One weird mythological punishment for cannibalism, reborn as a dieting fad!
• Nov 28, 2016: You’ll never eat an ice cream cone again after learning this horrifying secret! Also: the top 5 flavors of ice cream from your childhood that are NO LONGER made!
• May 01, 2017: Seven deadly sins of dieting: save yourself from the deadly sin of GLUTTONY by making use of the deadly sin of SLOTH. Finally, two wrongs make a right. Plus, you’ll never believe these 7 adorable animals that made their way home after beating unbelievable odds.
• May 22, 2017: Don’t let “BIG COFFEE” trick you into buying their overpriced coffeepots and carafes—use this one weird toothpaste tube trick to save time and promote a harmonious work environment and never unexpectedly run out of coffee again!
• Sep 25, 2017: New fad diet that allows you to eat ANYTHING YOU WANT! But there’s a terrible price to be paid. Steel yourself against the most appalling horrors of existence before reading further.

Fitness

• Sep 04, 2015: Lose Weight With this One Weird Tip. The tip is: take one meal and eat it as two! Note: may lead to starvation if your meals are insufficiently large, but this is probably not a problem if you have an Internet connection and are reading this article. Unless you are reading it on a stone tablet in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. In which case: let me offer my condolences! Sorry we ruined the world, future person!
• Sep 28, 2015: I never believed the disdain that my cat had for my poor time management skills, until I watched this one shocking video and applied this one weird trick that doctors hate.
• Oct 19, 2015: These 7 weird tricks to playing tennis with a ukulele will lead you wondering what happens next. . . probably severe elbow and wrist injury?
• Nov 02, 2015: One weird trick that the FAT CATS don’t want you to know. By which I mean actual cats who are fat.
• May 02, 2016: Exercise self-control and never wantonly snack again with this amazing new home design tip! Your kitchen will thank you.
• Aug 22, 2016: Get exercise without meaning to while playing video games? The impossibly decadent dream of a depraved era.
• Sep 12, 2016: Feel the illusion of progress while accomplishing nothing! A “panorama treadmill” trick with metaphorical applications to other aspects of life too!
• Feb 27, 2017: Cease your unforgivable indolence! Motivate yourself to exercise with this new kind of stationary bike! Locksmiths hate it!
• Jul 17, 2017: Stop exercising! Instead: re-enact scenes from action movies! Burn off fat easily with this one weird tip that movie executives do want you to know! Fitness instructors hate it—the one totally untested secret to weight loss!
• Nov 13, 2017: Your true spirit animal is THE WHALE, mankind’s stalwart ally in the mammal-vs-fish battle of the seas. With this new incredible fishing attachment, you too can harness the POWER OF THE BALEEN WHALE.

Language

• Nov 03, 2014: How to destroy a programming language (or natural language?) that you don’t like in one easy step with three difficult sub-steps
• Jan 05, 2015: Fix possessives, plurals, and contractions forever with this one incomprehensible English orthography trick
• Jul 05, 2015: Modern “Emoji” characters will become the basis for writing systems of civilizations 1000 years from now.
• Jul 27, 2015: A call to action: stop being a slacktivist—it’s time to update emoji to prevent emoji obsolescence! (Or: emoji serve inadvertently as a time capsule of the early 2000s.)
• Feb 15, 2016: Clean up old files on your computer easily with this ONE BIZARRE TRICK. Scholars of ancient languages hate it!
• Jul 18, 2016: Lawyers hate it! Linguists love it! Never be confused by contradictory and confusing laws again, now that you have a fully logical legal annotation language, or “legal markup language.”
• Dec 05, 2016: Obsolete password requirements cost over 50 billion dollars in lost productivity per year—solve the problem forever with these new password requirements!
• Apr 24, 2017: The secret language that they don’t want you to know: Oneglish (”1NGLISH”)—return English to its ancient roots with a new one-syllable version! Save hours every day. Also: how many syllables are in the English language, anyway? Answer: probably at least 972,465, if you believe the assumptions below!
• Jul 03, 2017: Programmers love this one weird trick to handle Unicode characters without any complexity! “Visual-literation” replaces the old-fashioned way of transliteration. Watch as linguists wail mournfully at the years they wasted trying to transliterate sounds between alphabets!
• Aug 14, 2017: The secret of SMART JUSTIFIED columns of text. This strange formatting tip will make ONE HUNDRED TIMES more employers look at your resume! Stop formatting your resume so amateurishly, and await your reward of gold and rubies from your future employer.

Games (Board Games & Video Games)

• May 18, 2015: Amazing billiards tip for that will astound your friends and vex your foes. Don’t use it when playing for money, or you may get stabbed!
• Mar 07, 2016: If you are a game designer, use this one weird tip to annoy your players—it’s for their own good.
• Mar 14, 2016: In a follow-up to last week’s game design idea, use this one weird tip to add realism and teach players about the legal system at the same time!
• Apr 11, 2016: Is the U.S. Tax Code more complicated than Magic: The Gathering? The answer may surprise you!
• Jun 13, 2016: Be tricked into learning with hybrid educational games! But don’t use the word “edutainment” this time.
• Aug 22, 2016: Get exercise without meaning to while playing video games? The impossibly decadent dream of a depraved era.
• Feb 06, 2017: Increase your own enjoyment of a game by making everyone else’s experience WORSE. It’s all about relative enjoyment, after all.
• Feb 13, 2017: Dust off your 3D glasses (or excavate them from the geological strata that they are buried beneath) for this new multi-versions-of-a-movie plan that is definitely here to stay and not a gimmick!
• Feb 20, 2017: Sitting down all day is bad for you! Instead, wriggle through the crawlspace under your house and possibly fall down the stairs in a mad dash to run between rooms of your house while playing this new insanely immersive simulation game! Also, it makes your house into a spaceship.
• Jun 12, 2017: Never be unfashionable again, with these five amazing 3d-modeled clothing tips! You’ll never believe tip number three!
• Jun 26, 2017: Solve your getting-research-participants problem in one easy step with the medium of VIDEO GAMES. Possibly even ethical, who can really say!

Politics

• Dec 01, 2014: Never be bothered by annoying political ads again! Because you won’t be voting!
• Dec 15, 2014: When someone lost all their money to a scam, you’ll never believe how they recovered 90% of it thanks to one weird legislative trick!
• Jan 14, 2015: Serve your next jury duty on Netflix or Youtube
• Feb 23, 2015: 12 ways to Game-ify elections: number 9 will blow your mind. Also it’s probably a weird trick I guess?
• Mar 16, 2015: The 4 tricks to Highway Fast Lanes that you’ve been doing wrong this whole time
• Apr 06, 2015: One weird unfunded mandate that exposes the disregard for handicapped accessibility in 8-bit video games… tip number 3 will shock you!
• Apr 13, 2015: Are your co-workers laughing at you behind your back? Abide by this single flawless maxim and concern yourself no more! This assumes that the root problem was your choice of name for a new product.
• Oct 26, 2015: Election facts: three weird secrets for crafting the ultimate direct-democracy ballot proposal
• May 30, 2016: Prevent fat cats in Washington from running the government, using an anonymous election system that could theoretically elect a literal fat cat!
• Oct 31, 2016: Voter suppression with a twist! Add SECRET disqualification questions to the ballot in order to save democracy! Definitely there would be no possible way to misuse this. Plus: you’ll never believe what kind of animal was nominated as ambassador to Australia!
• Oct 16, 2017: International dignitaries love it: the “handshake-disinfecting tentacle noodle arm” is the next evolution of the handshake.

Computers

• Jul 01, 2015: Never get confused by your filesystem again, thanks to overly verbose documentation harassing you at every step. Also apparently no one uses filesystems anymore now that computers have become phones.
• Dec 28, 2015: This incredible camouflage for computer programmers and other office workers who snack at their desks will ensure that the dreaded mustard-on-white-shirt-before-crucial-meeting scenario is never repeated.
• Mar 14, 2016: In a follow-up to last week’s game design idea, use this one weird tip to add realism and teach players about the legal system at the same time!
• Mar 28, 2016: One weird application of the “invisible fence” dog collar that’s setting the world of Internet comments on fire! And possibly also setting people on fire, depending on the amperage involved.
• Aug 22, 2016: Get exercise without meaning to while playing video games? The impossibly decadent dream of a depraved era.
• Sep 05, 2016: You’ll never believe this weird trick for getting a table from a laptop user at a coffeeshop! Why wouldn’t you believe it? Well, it’s because of your excessively skeptical nature.
• Aug 31, 2016: Bonus Wednesday Plan: Sponsored Server Hosting NOW WITH “SPECIAL OFFERS.” Monetize your command line with integrated banner ads!
• Jul 31, 2017: Never worry about losing your laptop again with these TWO EASY TIPS that will shock and horrify you. You’ll never believe what happened next! The amazing secret of proximity-based encryption.
• Aug 21, 2017: Throw away your current barbaric programming language! Programming Emoji is the future of computation.
• Sep 18, 2017: Incredible user interface tip to increase user engagement—make your software challenging and don’t let a user “auto-pilot” through an easily understood interface.
• Oct 23, 2017: Here’s a tip obviously made by someone who hates shopping for clothes! Order your clothes online and be even more hermit-like with this one internet business scheme that someone probably patented in like 1994.
• Nov 27, 2017: Your slide presentation / PowerPoint presentation can be improved ENORMOUSLY with this one incredible presentation tip. Get the promotion that you deserve!

Law

• Jan 14, 2015: Serve your next jury duty on Netflix or Youtube
• Feb 23, 2015: 12 ways to Game-ify elections: number 9 will blow your mind. Also it’s probably a weird trick I guess?
• Apr 06, 2015: One weird unfunded mandate that exposes the disregard for handicapped accessibility in 8-bit video games… tip number 3 will shock you!
• Jan 26, 2016: Fix the justice system and prevent railroading of suspects with one unlikely tip: purposefully arrest and charge innocent people with crimes!
• Mar 14, 2016: In a follow-up to last week’s game design idea, use this one weird tip to add realism and teach players about the legal system at the same time!
• Apr 11, 2016: Is the U.S. Tax Code more complicated than Magic: The Gathering? The answer may surprise you!
• May 30, 2016: Prevent fat cats in Washington from running the government, using an anonymous election system that could theoretically elect a literal fat cat!
• Aug 01, 2016: Protect your car from car thieves with this ONE WEIRD TIP from a banker! Upholstery cleaners love it!
• Oct 17, 2016: Life hack: use a wedge of Gouda cheese as an eco-friendly doorstop to save space in your pantry. BIG DOORSTOP hates this tip!
• Dec 12, 2016: The secret that BIG CITY LAWYERS don’t want you to know! Never get convicted of a crime you committed again, with this one insane tip!
• Jan 16, 2017: Five underrated facts about dystopian totalitarian surveillance regimes! You’ll never believe fact #2!
• Aug 28, 2017: Does your business require customers to agree to a “terms of service”? Run this incredibly illegal “INFINITE LENGTH CONTRACT” idea by your legal department! They will be impressed with your legal acumen.
• Oct 30, 2017: Uber and Lyft may have diminished the taxi medallion system, but the “medallion” idea can still be applied in other places! One weird local government tip.

Health

• Jan 19, 2015: Incredible secret to lose weight FOR FREE—doctors hate it!
• Feb 16, 2015: Natural Selection Candy Bowl: The 13 candies from your childhood that you won’t believe they still make… because you are an unusually skeptical individual
• Dec 07, 2015: This “smart carafe” will streamline office coffee acquisition and, if it is smart enough to use Microsoft Excel, possibly replace YOU as well! Smash it before it is too late.
• Jan 18, 2016: With this amazing new conveyor belt diet, YOU TOO can lose weight without any pain! Don’t listen to all those other fad diets—this one is here to stay.
• Mar 28, 2016: One weird application of the “invisible fence” dog collar that’s setting the world of Internet comments on fire! And possibly also setting people on fire, depending on the amperage involved.
• May 02, 2016: Exercise self-control and never wantonly snack again with this amazing new home design tip! Your kitchen will thank you.
• Jun 27, 2016: One weird mythological punishment for cannibalism, reborn as a dieting fad!
• Aug 22, 2016: Get exercise without meaning to while playing video games? The impossibly decadent dream of a depraved era.
• Sep 12, 2016: Feel the illusion of progress while accomplishing nothing! A “panorama treadmill” trick with metaphorical applications to other aspects of life too!
• Oct 24, 2016: Five things your haircut says about you, without you even realizing! The first thing it says is: “get your hair cut by a robotic hair cut helmet.”
• May 01, 2017: Seven deadly sins of dieting: save yourself from the deadly sin of GLUTTONY by making use of the deadly sin of SLOTH. Finally, two wrongs make a right. Plus, you’ll never believe these 7 adorable animals that made their way home after beating unbelievable odds.
• May 22, 2017: Don’t let “BIG COFFEE” trick you into buying their overpriced coffeepots and carafes—use this one weird toothpaste tube trick to save time and promote a harmonious work environment and never unexpectedly run out of coffee again!
• Jul 17, 2017: Stop exercising! Instead: re-enact scenes from action movies! Burn off fat easily with this one weird tip that movie executives do want you to know! Fitness instructors hate it—the one totally untested secret to weight loss!
• Sep 25, 2017: New fad diet that allows you to eat ANYTHING YOU WANT! But there’s a terrible price to be paid. Steel yourself against the most appalling horrors of existence before reading further.

Household

• Aug 17, 2015: You’ve been storing your ironing board wrong this whole time! Reclaim your wasted space with this one inconvenient tip.
• Nov 30, 2015: You’ll never believe the horrifying hotel room scene that awaited one guest! Because you aren’t a gullible rube.
• Feb 22, 2016: Stop fighting over toilet paper roll orientation! Peace in our time.
• Feb 29, 2016: Clawed beasts will rend your flesh unless you obey this one weird tip! Cats and homeowners hate it!
• Mar 21, 2016: The three weird buttons that will stop procrastination forever! You will shriek and wail when you think of all the procrastination you did before you had these!
• Oct 17, 2016: Life hack: use a wedge of Gouda cheese as an eco-friendly doorstop to save space in your pantry. BIG DOORSTOP hates this tip!
• Jan 30, 2017: The horrifying secret that APPLE, GOOGLE, and MICROSOFT don’t want you to know about laptop longevity! Stop being part of the “laptop rat race” with this new insane beverage-related tip. Tip number 5 will shock you!
• Mar 06, 2017: Phone manufacturers hate this one weird tip to save you HUNDREDS of dollars by not losing your phone! One frugal tip for saving money on smartphones (do not lose them).
• Apr 03, 2017: Yet another solution to the dreaded “a table leg is in my way, how can I sit at this table???” problem that plagues our citizenry.
• May 29, 2017: With these five amazing steps, you can stop stumbling about in a mad and fumbling rage while you try to determine which light switch controls each light in your house!
• Jul 24, 2017: Fight back against “big deadbolt” with this amazing new style of home door lock! Burglars hate it!
• Oct 09, 2017: Perform untested and non-ethics-board approved human testing, with this one weird tip! A terrifying mobile for babies, with a twist!
• Oct 02, 2017: The one investing tip that “fat cats” don’t want you to know—invest in crazy startups that make Frankensteinian hybrid appliances!

Automotive / Cars / Traffic

• Apr 10, 2015: Supplemental post: A car manufacturer is actually applying an “achievement unlocked” system to encourage car maintenance. You might or might not believe what happens next, depending on a combination of your personality traits!
• May 11, 2015: AudioNav: Navigate traffic by audio cues, like a bat. Note: bats are incapable of safely operating automobiles.
• May 25, 2015: Never forget where you left your car again, because your phone knows! Also your car is probably worth thousands of dollars, so you should be keeping track of it anyway!
• Jun 01, 2015: Motel-on-the-Move: The incredible secret to affordable housing in every city! Why are you still paying rent or a mortgage?
• Jun 22, 2015: Comprehend the true depths of your decadent consumerist lifestyle with this one weird trick!
• Jun 08, 2015: Never be confused by a signaling bus again, assuming you frequently drive behind buses instead of taking public transit (you monster)
• Jul 20, 2015: Never pay for a parking spot downtown again with this one unbelievable tip from a disgruntled crane operator!
• Aug 03, 2015: Stop being so wasteful by purchasing 2 cars, when you could get away with 1.5 cars instead using this one weird trick!
• Oct 12, 2015: All your parking woes solved with this one weird tip, which also adds a (possibly unintentional) crumple zone to your car, perhaps increasing its safety in a crash
• Jul 04, 2016: Never enjoy driving again with this one weird taxi meter tip!
• Aug 01, 2016: Protect your car from car thieves with this ONE WEIRD TIP from a banker! Upholstery cleaners love it!
• Aug 15, 2016: Stop getting into the wrong taxi / ride-sharing car (Lyft, Uber, etc…) with this new amazing “lighted logo” app trick! You should secure some venture capital to implement this plan today.
• Mar 27, 2017: Never run over a pedestrian or a bicyclist while looking for a parking spot, thanks to this new attention-saving idea! Personal injury lawyers hate it!
• Jul 10, 2017: Five easy improvements to the despised “four-way or all-way” stop sign! End your confusion about road signage, and never get a ticket for rolling through a stop sign again!
• Sep 04, 2017: Venture capitalists love this one weird trick—double your startup “runway” time and reduce employee salaries dramatically while improving quality of life at the same time!
• Oct 30, 2017: Uber and Lyft may have diminished the taxi medallion system, but the “medallion” idea can still be applied in other places! One weird local government tip.

Small Business

• Dec 21, 2014: Amazing receipt tip that will help you spend more money than you had planned (thus stimulating the economy). You won’t believe what happens next!
• Feb 02, 2015: 7 Cats From the 80s That You Won’t Believe Where They Are Now (On Airplanes)
• Mar 16, 2015: The 4 tricks to Highway Fast Lanes that you’ve been doing wrong this whole time
• Sep 14, 2015: Save hours on any teleconferenced meeting with this one weird tip that will drive you to the brink of gibbering insanity!
• Oct 26, 2015: Election facts: three weird secrets for crafting the ultimate direct-democracy ballot proposal
• Dec 07, 2015: This “smart carafe” will streamline office coffee acquisition and, if it is smart enough to use Microsoft Excel, possibly replace YOU as well! Smash it before it is too late.
• Apr 04, 2016: When you purchase something, don’t get your change back as annoying coins—have it dispensed as delicious candies instead!
• Sep 05, 2016: You’ll never believe this weird trick for getting a table from a laptop user at a coffeeshop! Why wouldn’t you believe it? Well, it’s because of your excessively skeptical nature.
• Oct 24, 2016: Five things your haircut says about you, without you even realizing! The first thing it says is: “get your hair cut by a robotic hair cut helmet.”
• Sep 26, 2016: Shield your mind from the horrors found in a shared breakroom fridge with a futuristic conveyor-belt-based refrigerator! What has been seen cannot be unseen.
• Mar 20, 2017: Never get a contagious disease from a coworker again with this one tip. Use the healing power of crystals and bears to naturally fight off disease. OSHA hates it!
• Jun 05, 2017: Do you know of a company that offers rebates by check and is also unethical and hates its customers? Here’s one weird tip for that company that is ACTUALLY USED IN REALITY and is incredibly annoying!
• Aug 28, 2017: Does your business require customers to agree to a “terms of service”? Run this incredibly illegal “INFINITE LENGTH CONTRACT” idea by your legal department! They will be impressed with your legal acumen.
• Sep 04, 2017: Venture capitalists love this one weird trick—double your startup “runway” time and reduce employee salaries dramatically while improving quality of life at the same time!
• Oct 23, 2017: Here’s a tip obviously made by someone who hates shopping for clothes! Order your clothes online and be even more hermit-like with this one internet business scheme that someone probably patented in like 1994.
• Oct 30, 2017: Uber and Lyft may have diminished the taxi medallion system, but the “medallion” idea can still be applied in other places! One weird local government tip.
• Nov 27, 2017: Your slide presentation / PowerPoint presentation can be improved ENORMOUSLY with this one incredible presentation tip. Get the promotion that you deserve!

Culture

• Mar 23, 2015: Your lack of art appreciation has brought shame to the land. Redeem yourself with this one weird sponsorship trick.
• Apr 20, 2015: Phone Call Priority: 9 incredible mistakes you’re making on the phone without even realizing it. Number 4 will bring an icy chill to your heart as you contemplate its true horror.
• Jul 05, 2015: Modern “Emoji” characters will become the basis for writing systems of civilizations 1000 years from now.
• Jul 27, 2015: A call to action: stop being a slacktivist—it’s time to update emoji to prevent emoji obsolescence! (Or: emoji serve inadvertently as a time capsule of the early 2000s.)
• Sep 21, 2015: Never have your personal space invaded by discourteous close-talkers again with this one weird fashion accoutrement!
• Nov 23, 2015: This shockingly un-patented business plan will streamline your errand-running in the future!
• May 23, 2016: Appreciate a movie as it was meant to be seen, or maybe you can just watch an amateurishly cut version tailored to your specific preferences!
• Jul 18, 2016: Lawyers hate it! Linguists love it! Never be confused by contradictory and confusing laws again, now that you have a fully logical legal annotation language, or “legal markup language.”
• Sep 05, 2016: You’ll never believe this weird trick for getting a table from a laptop user at a coffeeshop! Why wouldn’t you believe it? Well, it’s because of your excessively skeptical nature.
• Oct 10, 2016: Watching TV instead of reading books is actually good for your brain! The one weird trick publishers love, and authors hate, for automatically inserting cliffhangers into books.
• Nov 21, 2016: Nine (9) insane books that you read in high school with TWIST ENDINGS that leave you speechless! Or, a way of bringing excitement back to classic literature.
• Dec 26, 2016: Read this before you give your child a HYPHENATED last name! The horrifying secret that the reptilian ruling class royal families don’t want you to know!
• Jan 02, 2017: Vanquish loneliness and existential dread with this one weird app that doesn’t exist (yet)
• Jan 09, 2017: Travel almost for FREE with this one weird tip! One insane way to reduce your spending on airline tickets now.
• Apr 24, 2017: The secret language that they don’t want you to know: Oneglish (”1NGLISH”)—return English to its ancient roots with a new one-syllable version! Save hours every day. Also: how many syllables are in the English language, anyway? Answer: probably at least 972,465, if you believe the assumptions below!
• Jun 12, 2017: Never be unfashionable again, with these five amazing 3d-modeled clothing tips! You’ll never believe tip number three!
• Jul 03, 2017: Programmers love this one weird trick to handle Unicode characters without any complexity! “Visual-literation” replaces the old-fashioned way of transliteration. Watch as linguists wail mournfully at the years they wasted trying to transliterate sounds between alphabets!
• Sep 11, 2017: TITLE: The secret to making THE BEST ART MUSEUM possible and acquiring a collection for less than 1% the normal price of famous art. The secret ingredient: ART FORGERY.
• Oct 16, 2017: International dignitaries love it: the “handshake-disinfecting tentacle noodle arm” is the next evolution of the handshake.
• Nov 06, 2017: You will TRULY appreciate art after surviving the ART OBSTACLE COURSE! Brave a swamp of deadly crocodiles in order to catch a single glimpse of “Dogs Playing Poker”—you’ll never accuse it of being kitsch art again.
• Dec 04, 2017: Bring civility back to the universe with this one incredible object that fits in your wallet!

Technology

• Nov 09, 2015: Upon seeing this cell phone and realizing it is not for sale, you will gnash and grind your teeth in rage. Dentists hate it!
• Mar 21, 2016: The three weird buttons that will stop procrastination forever! You will shriek and wail when you think of all the procrastination you did before you had these!
• May 23, 2016: Appreciate a movie as it was meant to be seen, or maybe you can just watch an amateurishly cut version tailored to your specific preferences!
• Jun 20, 2016: Cinephiles: You can now get the rich analog experience of VHS via streaming video! Liberate yourself from the harsh pixelation of compressed digital video.
• Jul 25, 2016: The true secret of DOGS—never need to walk your dog again! Tip number five will HORRIFY you.
• Oct 03, 2016: The FDA doesn’t want you do know about this amazing cure for reverse-seasonal-affective-disorder, which could totally be a real thing! Increase your home’s resale value by 0 or more percent with this amazing new “rain window” architectural innovation.
• Oct 24, 2016: Five things your haircut says about you, without you even realizing! The first thing it says is: “get your hair cut by a robotic hair cut helmet.”
• Sep 26, 2016: Shield your mind from the horrors found in a shared breakroom fridge with a futuristic conveyor-belt-based refrigerator! What has been seen cannot be unseen.
• Nov 14, 2016: Finally quantify your indolence with the new how-long-have-you-sat-in-it privacy-invading chair modification!
• Nov 28, 2016: You’ll never eat an ice cream cone again after learning this horrifying secret! Also: the top 5 flavors of ice cream from your childhood that are NO LONGER made!
• Jan 02, 2017: Vanquish loneliness and existential dread with this one weird app that doesn’t exist (yet)
• Jan 09, 2017: Travel almost for FREE with this one weird tip! One insane way to reduce your spending on airline tickets now.
• Jan 16, 2017: Five underrated facts about dystopian totalitarian surveillance regimes! You’ll never believe fact #2!
• Jan 30, 2017: The horrifying secret that APPLE, GOOGLE, and MICROSOFT don’t want you to know about laptop longevity! Stop being part of the “laptop rat race” with this new insane beverage-related tip. Tip number 5 will shock you!
• Feb 27, 2017: Cease your unforgivable indolence! Motivate yourself to exercise with this new kind of stationary bike! Locksmiths hate it!
• Apr 17, 2017: You won’t believe how I never fell into a bottomless pit again, thanks to this one weird trick. Podiatrists hate it! Probably.
• May 15, 2017: Teachers: help your shy and introverted students engage in discussion with the HELM OF UNRELENTING GAZE, the newest and most valuable teaching fad.
• May 08, 2017: Stop using barbaric and antiquated combination locks and escape the tyranny of the rotating dial!
• Jun 12, 2017: Never be unfashionable again, with these five amazing 3d-modeled clothing tips! You’ll never believe tip number three!
• Jun 26, 2017: Solve your getting-research-participants problem in one easy step with the medium of VIDEO GAMES. Possibly even ethical, who can really say!
• Jun 19, 2017: Stop missing out on life because you’re wearing headphones and playing music, and your comrades have all gone off to experience something truly incredible, but you are abandoned because you didn’t hear them leave!
• Jul 03, 2017: Programmers love this one weird trick to handle Unicode characters without any complexity! “Visual-literation” replaces the old-fashioned way of transliteration. Watch as linguists wail mournfully at the years they wasted trying to transliterate sounds between alphabets!
• Jul 31, 2017: Never worry about losing your laptop again with these TWO EASY TIPS that will shock and horrify you. You’ll never believe what happened next! The amazing secret of proximity-based encryption.
• Sep 04, 2017: Venture capitalists love this one weird trick—double your startup “runway” time and reduce employee salaries dramatically while improving quality of life at the same time!
• Oct 02, 2017: The one investing tip that “fat cats” don’t want you to know—invest in crazy startups that make Frankensteinian hybrid appliances!
• Oct 16, 2017: International dignitaries love it: the “handshake-disinfecting tentacle noodle arm” is the next evolution of the handshake.
• Nov 13, 2017: Your true spirit animal is THE WHALE, mankind’s stalwart ally in the mammal-vs-fish battle of the seas. With this new incredible fishing attachment, you too can harness the POWER OF THE BALEEN WHALE.
• Nov 20, 2017: Are you a fancy individual who hates being delayed in elevators by lowly commoners, yet can’t justify putting in your own personal elevator? This new “executive fingerprint override” elevator button guarantees faster elevator transit.

User Interface (UI / UX)

• Dec 28, 2014: Never drop your camera again, although honestly who even has a camera anymore now that cell phones have good cameras. Pretend this post is from a while ago.
• Jan 26, 2015: 6 Baffling Apartment Arrangements You Won’t Believe Are Real* (* they are not real)
• Apr 06, 2015: One weird unfunded mandate that exposes the disregard for handicapped accessibility in 8-bit video games… tip number 3 will shock you!
• Apr 10, 2015: Supplemental post: A car manufacturer is actually applying an “achievement unlocked” system to encourage car maintenance. You might or might not believe what happens next, depending on a combination of your personality traits!
• Apr 13, 2015: Are your co-workers laughing at you behind your back? Abide by this single flawless maxim and concern yourself no more! This assumes that the root problem was your choice of name for a new product.
• Jun 22, 2015: Comprehend the true depths of your decadent consumerist lifestyle with this one weird trick!
• Jun 08, 2015: Never be confused by a signaling bus again, assuming you frequently drive behind buses instead of taking public transit (you monster)
• Jul 01, 2015: Never get confused by your filesystem again, thanks to overly verbose documentation harassing you at every step. Also apparently no one uses filesystems anymore now that computers have become phones.
• Jul 13, 2015: Double your credit rating with this one weird tip, which assumes that a double-sided credit card will somehow also double your credit rating. Maybe credit bureaus have not yet considered this unlikely loophole!
• Sep 09, 2015: One weird corner case of biohazard stickers that might save you from getting the bubonic plague
• Nov 09, 2015: Upon seeing this cell phone and realizing it is not for sale, you will gnash and grind your teeth in rage. Dentists hate it!
• Dec 21, 2015: Never show up at the airport again without your passport with this one weird luggage trick! The trick is: remember your passport.
• Jan 11, 2016: One cell phone alarm weird trick: Stop annoying your loved ones with the ringing phone alarm that you are discourteously ignoring while you take a shower!
• Feb 15, 2016: Clean up old files on your computer easily with this ONE BIZARRE TRICK. Scholars of ancient languages hate it!
• Feb 22, 2016: Stop fighting over toilet paper roll orientation! Peace in our time.
• Mar 07, 2016: If you are a game designer, use this one weird tip to annoy your players—it’s for their own good.
• Mar 28, 2016: One weird application of the “invisible fence” dog collar that’s setting the world of Internet comments on fire! And possibly also setting people on fire, depending on the amperage involved.
• Apr 18, 2016: Show how classy your phone app is with REAL fake GOLD text! Gold everywhere = high class operation.
• May 09, 2016: Become vexed that you are unable to find a red-headed emoji face!
• Jun 20, 2016: Cinephiles: You can now get the rich analog experience of VHS via streaming video! Liberate yourself from the harsh pixelation of compressed digital video.
• Jul 04, 2016: Never enjoy driving again with this one weird taxi meter tip!
• Aug 15, 2016: Stop getting into the wrong taxi / ride-sharing car (Lyft, Uber, etc…) with this new amazing “lighted logo” app trick! You should secure some venture capital to implement this plan today.
• Sep 19, 2016: Minimize the tiny remaining inconvenience of your indefensibly opulent Caligula-esque lifestyle with this one weird “how to make a bed” sheet-tucking-in tip!
• Sep 26, 2016: Shield your mind from the horrors found in a shared breakroom fridge with a futuristic conveyor-belt-based refrigerator! What has been seen cannot be unseen.
• Nov 14, 2016: Finally quantify your indolence with the new how-long-have-you-sat-in-it privacy-invading chair modification!
• Nov 28, 2016: You’ll never eat an ice cream cone again after learning this horrifying secret! Also: the top 5 flavors of ice cream from your childhood that are NO LONGER made!
• Dec 05, 2016: Obsolete password requirements cost over 50 billion dollars in lost productivity per year—solve the problem forever with these new password requirements!
• Dec 19, 2016: Never fall for a clickbait title again with this one INSANE museum tip! Your art appreciation teacher would hate it.
• Jan 02, 2017: Vanquish loneliness and existential dread with this one weird app that doesn’t exist (yet)
• Jan 23, 2017: Become a sophisticated cinephile AND appreciate the finest movies that cinema has to offer in only ONE-NINTH the expected time, thanks to this bizarre invention! You will be the envy of your friends and countrymen.
• Jan 30, 2017: The horrifying secret that APPLE, GOOGLE, and MICROSOFT don’t want you to know about laptop longevity! Stop being part of the “laptop rat race” with this new insane beverage-related tip. Tip number 5 will shock you!
• Feb 20, 2017: Sitting down all day is bad for you! Instead, wriggle through the crawlspace under your house and possibly fall down the stairs in a mad dash to run between rooms of your house while playing this new insanely immersive simulation game! Also, it makes your house into a spaceship.
• May 01, 2017: Seven deadly sins of dieting: save yourself from the deadly sin of GLUTTONY by making use of the deadly sin of SLOTH. Finally, two wrongs make a right. Plus, you’ll never believe these 7 adorable animals that made their way home after beating unbelievable odds.
• May 29, 2017: With these five amazing steps, you can stop stumbling about in a mad and fumbling rage while you try to determine which light switch controls each light in your house!
• Jun 19, 2017: Stop missing out on life because you’re wearing headphones and playing music, and your comrades have all gone off to experience something truly incredible, but you are abandoned because you didn’t hear them leave!
• Jul 10, 2017: Five easy improvements to the despised “four-way or all-way” stop sign! End your confusion about road signage, and never get a ticket for rolling through a stop sign again!
• Jul 24, 2017: Fight back against “big deadbolt” with this amazing new style of home door lock! Burglars hate it!
• Aug 21, 2017: Throw away your current barbaric programming language! Programming Emoji is the future of computation.
• Aug 28, 2017: Does your business require customers to agree to a “terms of service”? Run this incredibly illegal “INFINITE LENGTH CONTRACT” idea by your legal department! They will be impressed with your legal acumen.
• Sep 18, 2017: Incredible user interface tip to increase user engagement—make your software challenging and don’t let a user “auto-pilot” through an easily understood interface.
• Nov 20, 2017: Are you a fancy individual who hates being delayed in elevators by lowly commoners, yet can’t justify putting in your own personal elevator? This new “executive fingerprint override” elevator button guarantees faster elevator transit.
• Nov 27, 2017: Your slide presentation / PowerPoint presentation can be improved ENORMOUSLY with this one incredible presentation tip. Get the promotion that you deserve!

Design

• Dec 28, 2014: Never drop your camera again, although honestly who even has a camera anymore now that cell phones have good cameras. Pretend this post is from a while ago.
• Jan 26, 2015: 6 Baffling Apartment Arrangements You Won’t Believe Are Real* (* they are not real)
• Mar 23, 2015: Your lack of art appreciation has brought shame to the land. Redeem yourself with this one weird sponsorship trick.
• Mar 30, 2015: You’ve been making your bed the wrong way THIS WHOLE TIME. Six ways to repent (number 4 will shock you!)
• Apr 06, 2015: One weird unfunded mandate that exposes the disregard for handicapped accessibility in 8-bit video games… tip number 3 will shock you!
• Apr 10, 2015: Supplemental post: A car manufacturer is actually applying an “achievement unlocked” system to encourage car maintenance. You might or might not believe what happens next, depending on a combination of your personality traits!
• Apr 20, 2015: Phone Call Priority: 9 incredible mistakes you’re making on the phone without even realizing it. Number 4 will bring an icy chill to your heart as you contemplate its true horror.
• Apr 27, 2015: Rearrange your no-doubt-extensive home art gallery according to these curation principles.
• May 04, 2015: The “butterfly” poster design: if you have the misfortune to be carrying a rolled-up conference poster at this exact moment, or are a caterpillar, this idea will resonate with you
• May 11, 2015: AudioNav: Navigate traffic by audio cues, like a bat. Note: bats are incapable of safely operating automobiles.
• May 18, 2015: Amazing billiards tip for that will astound your friends and vex your foes. Don’t use it when playing for money, or you may get stabbed!
• Jun 01, 2015: Motel-on-the-Move: The incredible secret to affordable housing in every city! Why are you still paying rent or a mortgage?
• Jun 08, 2015: Never be confused by a signaling bus again, assuming you frequently drive behind buses instead of taking public transit (you monster)
• Jul 01, 2015: Never get confused by your filesystem again, thanks to overly verbose documentation harassing you at every step. Also apparently no one uses filesystems anymore now that computers have become phones.
• Aug 10, 2015: Breaking news: You are a terrible pet owner if you don’t address your cat’s neuroses with the soothing safety of cat-patterned furniture
• Aug 17, 2015: You’ve been storing your ironing board wrong this whole time! Reclaim your wasted space with this one inconvenient tip.
• Sep 09, 2015: One weird corner case of biohazard stickers that might save you from getting the bubonic plague
• Sep 21, 2015: Never have your personal space invaded by discourteous close-talkers again with this one weird fashion accoutrement!
• Sep 29, 2015: This blog got its first search engine referral, for “cutting a poster for carrying.”
• Nov 09, 2015: Upon seeing this cell phone and realizing it is not for sale, you will gnash and grind your teeth in rage. Dentists hate it!
• Dec 07, 2015: This “smart carafe” will streamline office coffee acquisition and, if it is smart enough to use Microsoft Excel, possibly replace YOU as well! Smash it before it is too late.
• Dec 14, 2015: Regain hours of your life every day with this one weird anti-procrastination tip that may involve horrifying injury! You’ll never believe what happened next.
• Dec 28, 2015: This incredible camouflage for computer programmers and other office workers who snack at their desks will ensure that the dreaded mustard-on-white-shirt-before-crucial-meeting scenario is never repeated.
• Dec 21, 2015: Never show up at the airport again without your passport with this one weird luggage trick! The trick is: remember your passport.
• Jan 11, 2016: One cell phone alarm weird trick: Stop annoying your loved ones with the ringing phone alarm that you are discourteously ignoring while you take a shower!
• Feb 15, 2016: Clean up old files on your computer easily with this ONE BIZARRE TRICK. Scholars of ancient languages hate it!
• Feb 22, 2016: Stop fighting over toilet paper roll orientation! Peace in our time.
• Feb 29, 2016: Clawed beasts will rend your flesh unless you obey this one weird tip! Cats and homeowners hate it!
• Mar 21, 2016: The three weird buttons that will stop procrastination forever! You will shriek and wail when you think of all the procrastination you did before you had these!
• Apr 18, 2016: Show how classy your phone app is with REAL fake GOLD text! Gold everywhere = high class operation.
• May 09, 2016: Become vexed that you are unable to find a red-headed emoji face!
• Aug 08, 2016: Leave a note even if you don’t have a pen! This tip will shock you when you realize that it does not even require HUMAN BLOOD!
• Oct 24, 2016: Five things your haircut says about you, without you even realizing! The first thing it says is: “get your hair cut by a robotic hair cut helmet.”
• Oct 17, 2016: Life hack: use a wedge of Gouda cheese as an eco-friendly doorstop to save space in your pantry. BIG DOORSTOP hates this tip!
• Nov 07, 2016: Podiatrists hate it! Throw away your obsolete footwear and prostrate yourself before the new ultimate invention, the “shruler.” You’ll never believe what happens in the last paragraph!
• Nov 14, 2016: Finally quantify your indolence with the new how-long-have-you-sat-in-it privacy-invading chair modification!
• Mar 06, 2017: Phone manufacturers hate this one weird tip to save you HUNDREDS of dollars by not losing your phone! One frugal tip for saving money on smartphones (do not lose them).
• Mar 13, 2017: Thumb your nose at those “know-it-all furniture designers” with this exotic and impractical table! Finally, an outrageous way to show off your OBSCENE WEALTH.
• Mar 20, 2017: Never get a contagious disease from a coworker again with this one tip. Use the healing power of crystals and bears to naturally fight off disease. OSHA hates it!
• Apr 03, 2017: Yet another solution to the dreaded “a table leg is in my way, how can I sit at this table???” problem that plagues our citizenry.
• Apr 17, 2017: You won’t believe how I never fell into a bottomless pit again, thanks to this one weird trick. Podiatrists hate it! Probably.
• May 08, 2017: Stop using barbaric and antiquated combination locks and escape the tyranny of the rotating dial!
• May 22, 2017: Don’t let “BIG COFFEE” trick you into buying their overpriced coffeepots and carafes—use this one weird toothpaste tube trick to save time and promote a harmonious work environment and never unexpectedly run out of coffee again!
• May 29, 2017: With these five amazing steps, you can stop stumbling about in a mad and fumbling rage while you try to determine which light switch controls each light in your house!
• Jun 05, 2017: Do you know of a company that offers rebates by check and is also unethical and hates its customers? Here’s one weird tip for that company that is ACTUALLY USED IN REALITY and is incredibly annoying!
• Jun 12, 2017: Never be unfashionable again, with these five amazing 3d-modeled clothing tips! You’ll never believe tip number three!
• Jun 19, 2017: Stop missing out on life because you’re wearing headphones and playing music, and your comrades have all gone off to experience something truly incredible, but you are abandoned because you didn’t hear them leave!
• Jul 10, 2017: Five easy improvements to the despised “four-way or all-way” stop sign! End your confusion about road signage, and never get a ticket for rolling through a stop sign again!
• Aug 07, 2017: Your chair is KILLING YOU! With its lack of artistic sophistication, I mean. Throw all your useless and harmful furniture into a huge bonfire, then replace it with eco-friendly low-polygon furniture for the health-conscious and trendy consumer.
• Aug 14, 2017: The secret of SMART JUSTIFIED columns of text. This strange formatting tip will make ONE HUNDRED TIMES more employers look at your resume! Stop formatting your resume so amateurishly, and await your reward of gold and rubies from your future employer.
• Sep 11, 2017: TITLE: The secret to making THE BEST ART MUSEUM possible and acquiring a collection for less than 1% the normal price of famous art. The secret ingredient: ART FORGERY.
• Aug 21, 2017: Throw away your current barbaric programming language! Programming Emoji is the future of computation.
• Aug 28, 2017: Does your business require customers to agree to a “terms of service”? Run this incredibly illegal “INFINITE LENGTH CONTRACT” idea by your legal department! They will be impressed with your legal acumen.
• Sep 18, 2017: Incredible user interface tip to increase user engagement—make your software challenging and don’t let a user “auto-pilot” through an easily understood interface.
• Oct 09, 2017: Perform untested and non-ethics-board approved human testing, with this one weird tip! A terrifying mobile for babies, with a twist!
• Oct 02, 2017: The one investing tip that “fat cats” don’t want you to know—invest in crazy startups that make Frankensteinian hybrid appliances!
• Nov 13, 2017: Your true spirit animal is THE WHALE, mankind’s stalwart ally in the mammal-vs-fish battle of the seas. With this new incredible fishing attachment, you too can harness the POWER OF THE BALEEN WHALE.
• Nov 20, 2017: Are you a fancy individual who hates being delayed in elevators by lowly commoners, yet can’t justify putting in your own personal elevator? This new “executive fingerprint override” elevator button guarantees faster elevator transit.

Communication

• Apr 20, 2015: Phone Call Priority: 9 incredible mistakes you’re making on the phone without even realizing it. Number 4 will bring an icy chill to your heart as you contemplate its true horror.
• Jul 05, 2015: Modern “Emoji” characters will become the basis for writing systems of civilizations 1000 years from now.
• May 09, 2016: Become vexed that you are unable to find a red-headed emoji face!
• Nov 14, 2016: Finally quantify your indolence with the new how-long-have-you-sat-in-it privacy-invading chair modification!
• Jan 02, 2017: Vanquish loneliness and existential dread with this one weird app that doesn’t exist (yet)

Fashion

• Sep 21, 2015: Never have your personal space invaded by discourteous close-talkers again with this one weird fashion accoutrement!
• Jul 11, 2016: Do you hate jerks who intrude on your personal space on public transit or airplanes? Now YOU can be even more of a jerk with this one amazing fashion tip!
• Apr 17, 2017: You won’t believe how I never fell into a bottomless pit again, thanks to this one weird trick. Podiatrists hate it! Probably.
• Jun 12, 2017: Never be unfashionable again, with these five amazing 3d-modeled clothing tips! You’ll never believe tip number three!
• Oct 23, 2017: Here’s a tip obviously made by someone who hates shopping for clothes! Order your clothes online and be even more hermit-like with this one internet business scheme that someone probably patented in like 1994.

Government

• Aug 29, 2016: THE CITY GRINDER: The one relentless trick that will DRAMATICALLY CHANGE your property values! Read up before you buy property, or soon you will weep bitter tears of despair!
• Oct 31, 2016: Voter suppression with a twist! Add SECRET disqualification questions to the ballot in order to save democracy! Definitely there would be no possible way to misuse this. Plus: you’ll never believe what kind of animal was nominated as ambassador to Australia!
• Jan 16, 2017: Five underrated facts about dystopian totalitarian surveillance regimes! You’ll never believe fact #2!
• Apr 10, 2017: One trick of common courtesy that would give you a new sense of satisfaction from paying your taxes!
• Oct 30, 2017: Uber and Lyft may have diminished the taxi medallion system, but the “medallion” idea can still be applied in other places! One weird local government tip.

Miscellaneous

• Aug 11, 2014: When a bike thief steals this bike with a horn, you won’t believe what happens next (SHOCKING)
• Jul 21, 2014: One Bicyclist’s Quest to Fix Traffic Congestion Forever
• Nov 11, 2014: You won’t believe how easy it is to prevent people from going into a taped-off “danger” area with this one bizarre trick!
• Jul 14, 2014: When a killer clown menaces someone, you won’t believe what happens next!
• Oct 13, 2014: How to solve spam forever and make your web site comment section useful again, with “robo-banning”
• Oct 20, 2014: Solving soccer tiebreakers in a television-friendly fashion; never be disappointed by a 0-0 game again
• Sep 01, 2014: One Weird Planet You Must Visit On Your Next Vacation, Assuming Your Vacation Involves Traveling Through Space
• Oct 27, 2014: Amazing (possibly weird) trick to capture additional value in social network relationships graphs via more finely-grained “friend” buttons
• Jul 28, 2014: One Snake’s “Snakeccination” Plan to Eradicate Polio
• Oct 06, 2014: Amazing new alternative to kenneling for pets will shock and amaze you. Freeze-a-pet™
• Aug 04, 2014: Five ways to improve your climbing wall (actually just two ways)
• Sep 29, 2014: Daily recap: One weird all-seeing-eye trick to staying focused on your goals
• Jul 16, 2014: The incredible plan to save the world with more Californias
• Dec 08, 2014: Use common mechanical attachments with a standard bicycle using this one weird tip. Also, you won’t believe what happened next.
• Sep 22, 2014: Immigration reform: “give one, get one”
• Jul 04, 2014: Elevator Indicators
• Jul 23, 2014: Ethics Statement
• Nov 17, 2014: Never be annoyed by jury duty again—use prisoners as jurors
• Feb 09, 2015: The 6 food groups you never knew that you wanted to eat while on a treadmill… which you will have to do in the grim dystopian treadmill future!
• Aug 25, 2014: The incredible secret to getting fit instantly, requiring only hard work over many years
• Jul 10, 2014: Amazing Elevator Occupancy Secret that will Change Your Life
• Nov 24, 2014: Never pay for a climbing gym again with this one micro-transaction trick (which is also weird)
• Jul 04, 2014: Mission Statement
• Jul 07, 2014: One weird plan to eliminate crime by using business plans
• Aug 20, 2014: One guaranteed way to prevent your bike from ever being stolen
• Sep 08, 2014: Immersive gaming by way of uncomfortable environments
• Aug 18, 2014: Never be embarrassed by your shirt again (INCREDIBLE), thanks to magnets
• Sep 15, 2014: How to easily solve “helicopter parenting” by providing a safe way for children to learn about safety and danger