Background:

If we’re to believe the promises made in movies, genetic engineering will one day unleash a host of biological horrors on mankind. But this promised future of terrifying hybrid animals seems to never actually arrive! Is there anything we can do to accelerate things?

Proposal:

Maybe the problem is that there is no market incentive to creating hybrid animals. Let’s “prime the pump,” so to speak, by creating a commercially viable hybrid animal featuring two popular creatures: the dog (a popular pet) and the chameleon (a less-popular but highly noteworthy animal).

The problem is simple: when someone gets a dog as a pet, they’re committed to it having a particular mostly-unchangeable visual appearance. If the pet owner gets a new handbag or pants, and the dog doesn’t match, what can the owner do?

Previously: they could do nothing!

But now, if we somehow hybridize the dog with the color-changing chameleon[*], we could make a dog that was capable of changing color (Figure 1) to match the whims of the owner!

[*] Apparently some types of octopus can do this color-changing trick as well.

In addition to owner-controlled color changing, maybe the dog could also be used as a walking billboard. A special radio transmission collar could beam advertisements over the airwaves; the dog would then interpret these signals and set its color accordingly (Figure 2).

Conclusion:

Although the dog is sometimes referred to as “Man’s Best Friend,” was it really a best friend previously, when it was unable to bring amazing low-price offers to your attention?

PROS: Adds crucial new features to the dog. Creates a new field of marketing.

CONS: Obtaining advertising data back from the dog (e.g. how many people looked at its advertisement?) might be difficult.

Originally published 2024-05-13.